For the last two months I’ve been hiding and being like a hermit. I needed time to accept the experiences that happened for my own healing.
In April, I moved into a new place and noticed I was getting sick a lot. Everyday I would wake up with a dry throat. In a few days, I noticed little water bugs that took over the bathroom floor at night. I felt dirty and embarrassed. I got chills whenever I saw them and ended up spraying to get rid of them. I’ve always had a strong dislike for bugs in my space. I felt powerless and I felt shame for the space I created. I also discovered mold in this new place which was likely the cause of my being sick.
Within two weeks I found a new place. Everything seemed to line up perfectly and within a short time frame I started to move in. The universe was definitely helping me when I was moving my stuff in. I happened to bump into a pest control guy that was spraying for cockroaches in the suite next to my new apartment that morning. I even saw cockroaches fleeting to my new apartment so I took my stuff and left. That night, my physical body shook of bugs crawling all over it and I felt royally kicked in the butt.
I was upset to find out that I couldn’t break my lease and the rental company gave me an option to move to two different floors. I knew I didn’t feel safe so I picked the apartment that was the highest one away from what I’d chosen before.
I was a mess for a couple of days. Luckily, I had friends that said I could stay with them for as long as I needed. I was ungrounded, highly emotional and literally just trying to keep my life together.
I wanted to have a home and place to call my own. I wanted to feel safe. I wanted a place where I could live and be happy. Through many tears and late phone calls to my mom and friends, after a few weeks I learned to accept what happened.
I started to move stuff in slowly and clear the space with my divine team. In a way, I think this experience crossed my path to show me that I am blessed to have so many wonderful souls in my life. Souls that opened their hearts and homes to me without question and took care of me as I started to feel the ground again.
Through it all, a friend of mine helped me laugh at the universal kick in the butt and encouraged me to keep going.
Over the past two weeks, I blessed the space and realized that it’s growing on me because I know for now it’s where I’m needed. I found out the cockroaches weren’t for but rather a path I was to cross in this lifetime. I believe I am bringing light to the building and in fact, because I made a formal complaint to the apartment rental company – they are cleaning the whole building!
Today, a month after couch surfing and house-sitting, I moving in with all my stuff! I am excited to exist in this space and let myself adjust to this new experience. Plus, I am thinking of getting a furry friend to play and be my companion while I go through the unknown.
I’ve missed writing over the past while and I hope I can be present with it and you more than I have ever been. To all those that have been through this with me and for those in situations that completely knock you out – I am looking forward to see how strong your light is! Shine on my beautiful friends😊.